Taboo
by Schistosoma
Summary: Therapy Home AU. Natalya Braginsky is a troubled newcomer to World Therapy Home. There she meets Toris Laurinatis, a victim of child prostitution, and an unlikely friendship is born. Onesided BelarusXRussia,BelarusXLithuania
1. Blood

**CHAPTER ONE**

**BLOOD: (blud), **_**n.**_** 1. The fluid, usually red, circulating in the heart, arteries, and veins of most animals 2. The essence of life 3. Kinship; family relation**

Natalya Braginsky was crazy. At least that's what they told her. She was crazy, so here she was picking at the musty carpet, surrounded by people who were either suicidal, tried to burn their family alive, were molested by their uncle in second grade, or all three.

Natalya had been at the World Therapy Home for only a week. She was sure she was going to be here for the rest of her life, since her parents had instructed them not to let her go until her 'problems' were completely gone. _There isn't a problem,_ the brunette thought, hugging her knees, _The rest of the world is the problem. _The girl took a deep breath, trying to clam herself down.

"Natalya, is there anything you want to say?" the group therapy leader, Ms. Chelles asked, smiling softly. "It seems that there's something bothering you." Ah. Group Therapy. She had forgotten about that. One of the other kids there, Matthew, had just told everyone how he had felt, standing on the rooftop, the night he tried to kill himself. The brunette shook her head. "No." she muttered. Then, looking past his blonde, curly hair, reaching Matthew's soulless eyes, she pierced him with her icy glare. "I don't care." Natalya said coldly. That was exactly what the blonde was afraid of hearing. Because that's how he felt; as if nobody cared. He had revealed a secret to people he had felt safe with, but now he wished the words had never fallen from his lips. He collapsed into tears onto Francis, the boy sitting next to him.

"Apologize." Francis demanded.

But Natalya was gone; already back in her own world, eyes glazed over.

Francis hugged Matthew close, letting his tears soak through onto his cotton shirt. Ms. Chelles frowned. "Natalya, please apologize to Matthew. That wasn't nice." The accused didn't answer. "Natalya," the shrink repeated firmly.

The room was silent, except for Mathew's constant, muffled sobs. Natalya could feel everyone's glares on her. In this place it was an unspoken rule that you should care for everyone, sympathize with them and help them deal with their hardships, not bring them down lower. Natalya had committed the capital sin, the taboo. Again. She lowered her head, allowing her auburn hair to cascade over her face, hiding the fact that she too, was crying.

"Ms. Chelles…" a voice behind her said, "I think Natalya's just having a bad day."

Peeking through her bangs to see who had defended her, Natalya realized that she did not recognize him. He was about her age, sixteen, with mousy brown hair kept to his jaw. No, he'd been there when she'd first entered the facility and was instructed to introduce herself. Everyone was asked to sit in a circle and say their name. He called himself something odd. _What was it? _Natalya struggled to remember. Tori? Taurus?

"Toris." Ms. Chelles said, "Thank you for sticking up for a friend." Natalya looked back at him and he smiled shyly, his eyes not completely meeting hers. In turn, she awkwardly adjusted the oversized blue bow she wore in her hair. Natalya wanted to say 'Thank you', but she wasn't entirely sure she remembered how.

That night, Natalya dreamt of her brother. It wasn't an oddity for her. She dreamt of him constantly because she missed him so terribly. Her dear brother….sweet, sweet, beautiful Ivan.

"_Natalya, sister, time to wake up" Ivan said, pulling back the curtains, allowing the still-rising sunshine to temporarily blind her. She rubbed the sleepiness out of her eyes and smiled, greeting her brother. "Good morning." The girl said. "Come," He said, sitting on the edge of her bed, "It's time to get ready for school." The brunette took a quick look at the clock._

"_It's 6:00. I don't start school 'till eight." _

_Her brother smiled darkly. "So? High school starts at 6:30, and you're going to eat breakfast with me." Natalya smiled. He'd wanted to be close to her, spend time with her thing in the morning. She put her arms around Ivan and lightly planted a kiss atop his silvery hair. "You're so cruel, big brother." She told him._

The dream was a memory. When Natalya was in 6th grade, and Ivan was a freshman in high school, sometimes he'd pull her out of bed early, so that they could eat breakfast together. A smile danced across her sleeping face.

_She followed him downstairs, where he had already prepared scrambled eggs for the both of them. He knew his little sister couldn't resist having him all to herself this early in the morning. They sat down across from each other at the wooden breakfast table without a word, but gazing at each other intently. All of a sudden, the air around them got thick, and Ivan smiled eerily. "You know what, little sister?" He whispered, _

"_I hate you."_

_The words echoed in her head. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." No. No. This wasn't supposed to happen. Yes. This was a dream. A bad dream. She had to get out. Out! Wake up. Wake up, Natalya! "I hate you." Ivan, her beloved brother said one last time before she was flung back into reality._

Natalya awoke at 3:20 am, drenched in cold sweat. A nightmare. Then, the familiar itchy feeling arose under her skin. The girl tried to stop it, but her hands worked on their own, scratching and tearing away the skin on her forearms. _It was just a dream, _she tried to comfort herself, _Just a dream. Sixth grade, Natalya. Ivan loved you back then. _Blood leaked onto the bed sheets. And as Ms. Chelles peeked into her room for the routinely check, she found Natalya hunched over on her bed, flesh under her fingernails and blood streaming down her slender arms, painting the bed linens into a scarlet battlefield.

**A/N: **I'm writing this story because I feel bad for representing Ivan/Russia in my previous fic, 'Recovery', as such a predator and abusive person, and because in many fics, I find that Belarus is also misrepresented as, to put it simply, a creepy-stalker-incest-bitch.

Dedicated to and inspired by my dear friend.

[EDIT]: I fixed the mistakes. Thank you for alerting me about them.


	2. Silence

**CHAPTER TWO**

**SILENCE: (silens), **_**n, v. **_** absence or avoidance of speech or noise 3. To supress**

Ms. Chelles wrapped the gauze around Natalya's arm. She had expertly disinfected it and made a point to cut the girl's nails. She had no idea how she had overlooked it before. Nails that long were against regulations; they were almost like knives, and were considered 'sharps'.

"Natalya, do you want to tell me why you scratched yourself, or would you like to speak to your therapist in the morning?" the counselor asked. The girl remained silent. Ms. Chelles sighed. She'd heard from her co-workers that this girl was resisting treatment.

"Um, Ms. Chelles?" A boy's voice said from the doorway. Both women turned to see Toris Laurinaitis standing in the doorway. He was trembling and his pajamas were soaked through with sweat. "I was wondering if I could get a glass of water…" he choked out. walked up to him and placed a hand against his forehead. "You're a little warm, Toris." She said.

"I-I just had a nightmare." The boy said, trying to smile.

_Like me. _Natalya thought. She walked over to a cabinet, reached in and pulled out a plastic cup. Ms. Chelles and Toris stared as Natalya leaned over the sink to fill it up with faucet water.

"Water." She said, pushing the cup towards the boy. Toris took the vessel from her hands and looked away, blushing. "Thank you…" he said, trailing off. Then, he looked up at Ms. Chelles and asked, "Do you think I could also have my meds?"

The counselor furrowed her black eyebrows, and thought for a bit.

-"When's the last time you took it?"

"Last week." Toris replied.

The therapist nodded, her long black pigtails bouncing. "Alright. Just be careful. We have enough drug addicts in here as it is." Toris nodded obediently as Ms. Chelles disappeared into the back room to dig up his prescription. She returned a moment later with two blue pills in the palm of her hand.

"What are they for?" Natalya asked, curious.

"Anti-Depressants." The other patient said, swallowing the pills daintily.

"Are you like Matthew?" she asked. "Do you want to kill yourself?"

_I thought she didn't care, _Toris thought, _I thought she wasn't even listening. _"No." He replied. "But I take them to make sure I don't try."

And that was when he noticed Natalya's arms, stained red and bandaged. Natalya didn't even flinch. "I don't want to kill myself either." She said defiantly, a small put forming on her mouth. The way she simply sat there in her blue nightgown, her hair messy and knotted, still in its signature bow, captivated Toris. Unable to tear his eyes away, he blushed and blurted out, "You're beautiful, Natalya."

"_You're beautiful, Sister." Ivan said. Today was Natalya's thirteenth birthday, and she had tried her best to look great._

"_Thank you, Ivan." She said, looking down at her feet, currently sporting navy blue high-heels. "Natalya, are you ready for your guests?" Her older sister, Katyusha, called. The youngest Braginsky sibling nodded. People poured in through the doorway. Natalya knew them from school, yet she couldn't remember any of their names._

"_Natalya. Happy Birthday." A petite girl with short blonde hair tied with a purple bow said. An older boy, similar in appearance stood behind her. _

"_Happy Birthday." Another person said, handing her a present._

_Her beloved brother smiled down at her. "Have fun."He whispered, and then he turned toward the door. _

_Abruptly, Natalya turned around, knocking over a nearby chair. "Brother!" She almost yelled. "Where are you going?" _

_Ivan smiled at her. "I don't want to ruin your party. I'll be at my friend's house." He said. "I'll give you my present when I come back, alright?"_

_He shut the door behind him. She bit her lip and imagined running after him. The blonde sat down on the ground, well-aware that everyone at the party didn't like her, and wouldn't even notice if she quietly slipped away. Did Ivan actually go to his friend's house? Did he have a date, on her birthday no less? Or did he simply want to escape from her, his sister, whose feelings for him were anything but platonic? _

"Natalya?" A voice pierced the silence, bringing her back to present day. "Are you alright?"Ms. Chelles asked. _I spaced out. _The Braginsky girl thought, too upset to open her mouth and voice her concerns.

"Natalya?" Toris asked, his voice tense. He was kneeling down by the girl, trying to figure out what had happened.

"I'm fine." She said, stood up and walked out of the room.

In morning, the group went to the cafeteria for breakfast, as usual. Natalya sat down, careful to keep her distance from everybody else. Careful not to cringe when she noticed Francis, a teenager sent to the World Therapy Home for sexual misconduct, wrapping his arms around Matthew in a more-than-friendly way. Careful not to notice Elizabeta, who had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, jumping from person to person, attempting to strike up a conversation about their problems. Careful not to stare at Alfred as he picked at his food, fork rattling in his bony hands. Careful not to mind when Toris looked at her from across the table, pretending to listen to whatever Feliks, his best friend and renowned druggie, was saying.

"Um…Natalya? Are you sure that you're alright?" The mousy haired boy asked. The girl in question looked up from under her long lashes. "Don't talk to me." She said, her voice barely a whisper. Toris flinched and Feliks rolled his eyes.

"Ms. Braginsky." A nurse said, walking up to the group's table. Natalya turned towards her. "Your therapist wants to see you immediately after breakfast."

Without word, the chestnut-haired girl stood up and followed after the nurse. The food on her plate remained completely untouched.

**A/N: **Ms. Chelles is in fact Seychelles. I know, such a shocker. I apologize for the errors in the previous chapter. I had written everything as 'Natalia' when I finally figured out that the Russian spelling was with a Y. Bravo, I suck.


	3. Past

**CHAPTER THREE**

**PAST: (past) **_**n. **_**1. Over 2. The time before the present 3. A person's history, background, or former activities. **

They sat across from each other, Natalya and the therapist. "Do you want to tell me why you scratched yourself last night?" Ms. Chelles asked, leaning back in her chair. _I was afraid. _The young girl thought, and looked to the side, afraid that if she met the therapist's eyes she'd somehow read her thoughts. _I don't want Brother to hate me. _

"Natalya." said sternly.

_I wonder what Ivan is doing now. _Natalya thought, closing her eyes completely. _Is he at school? I wonder how he's doing; it is his first year of college after all…_

"The food here is disgusting." The Braginsky girl said, the rumbling in her stomach reminding her of why she hadn't eaten. The pigtailed therapist sighed I relief. She'd finally gotten her to speak.

"Then tell me," she said "What is it that you'd like to eat?"

"Borsch." Natalya said. "The one my brother cooks."

"Do you like your brother's cooking?"

"I love everything me brother does." Natalya responded, sitting up straight on the brown, striped therapist's couch. "He's my everything."

It was free time, a brief hour when the patients could simply relax and socialize. Toris was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Yo!" His roommate, Feliks called as he entered their room.

"Hi, Feliks." The boy said, his eyes still glued to that stain on the ceiling.

"Ya wanna like, give me your meds today?" The blonde boy asked, flopping down onto Toris's bed.

"No, Feliks. I'm trying to get better." Toris said, shaking his head. The other boy frowned.

"Fine, be that way, you bitch." Feliks stuck his tongue out at his roommate and marched out of the room, mumbling to himself about how ridiculous it was that therapy for drug addiction involved the consumption of medicine. In the beginning of his treatment, as Toris recalled, Feliks would come to him and demand the boy's medication. "I'm a drug addict." He'd say, "The shit they give me, like, does nothing. I want yours."

It had set back his estimated recovery by at least six months, they had said. Meaning that Toris would be stuck at World Therapy Home for quite a while. Toris sighed. Everything sucked.

The clack of dress shoes interrupted his thoughts. A flash of darkness whipped by the door. Toris sat up to see Natalya Braginsky standing in the doorway.

"H-Hi, Natalya." He said, nervously running his fingers through his hair, try to smooth it down a tad. _God, she's so beautiful. _He thought. Natalya had a hand on her hip, bunching up part of her dark blue pleated skirt, revealing more of her legs. Toris blushed. Her loose tank top wasn't helping either. She stared him down, her bangs partially covering her eyes.

"What are you doing in my room, fag?" She asked him, her face twisting.

"Oh, um. This is my room." He said, sitting up and attempting a smile. Natalya frowned and looked around. She circled the room a couple times, observing each detail. "Oh." She finally said, and left the room, slamming the door. Toris laid back down, and hugged himself. His heart was beating and he was well-aware of the silly smile on his face.

"Wow…" He said. Natalya's presence was terrifyingly sexy.

During group therapy, Natalya, examined her freshly cut nails. They looked pathetic, cut so far back that it almost hurt to move her fingers.

"I just don't get it." Alfred said, gesturing at himself. "I won't eat, and then I look at myself, and I'm still…fat."

"Alfred, you know starving yourself isn't a healthy way to lose weight." Ms. Chelles said.

"Since when has anyone given a damn about health!" The blonde teenager exclaimed, adjusting his glasses. Feliks turned to him and laughed. "Dude, you're like, not fat! You're a fucking stick!"

"Feliks, watch your language." Ms. Chelles cut in. "Francis, is there anything you want to say?" The therapist said, turning to the obviously French boy. He was lying on the ground, stretching his hands in the air.

"I have a boner." He offered. Matthew, who was sitting next to him, slowly inched away.

Elizabeta raised her hand. "I have an issue I have to address."

"Go ahead." urged.

"Yesterday, Toris took up too much time in the bath." She said, pouting. "And I wanted to take a shower."

"I-I'm sorry." The boy in question said.

"Don't apologize to me!" The girl yelled, standing up and marching over to Toris. "I don't wanna hear your shit!"

She raised her hand to hit him, when suddenly, Ms. Chelles grabbed it from midair.

"Elizabeta." She scolded "Did you take your medication today?" She asked.

"Fuck off! I don't need that!" Elizabeta yelled, trying to wriggle out of the shrink's grip. Two hospital attendants came in and dragged her away.

"Y'know," Feliks said, leaning on Toris's shoulder. "Lizzie's kinda right. You did take up waaay too much time in the bathroom yesterday."

"I'm sorry." Toris breathed, blushing.

"Liz is your roommate, right?" Feliks asked, turning to Natalya, receiving only a nod.

"What's up with you?" A voice rang throughout the room. Alfred was laying on the ground, resting his sunken cheekbone on his hand. "Why don't you talk?"

_I don't need to waste my breath on idiots like you. _Natalya imagined saying.

"Mattie, do you want to say anything?" asked, but the boy shook his head.

"Toris, what about you? Last time we left off, you were telling us about your life back in Lithuania." The psychiatrist said, checking the notes on her clipboard.

"Alright." Toris said. "Um, I moved away from Lithuania when I was seven." He said. Natalya noticed his accent. It wasn't as heavy as she suspected an immigrant to have, in fact, it was barely noticeable. "We moved to a big city, kind of in the ghetto."

"And that is when you first got involved with…" began.

"!" The Lithuanian yelled, covering his face. "Please, I don't feel comfortable talking about this in front of people."

The therapist nodded. "What about you, Natalya? You haven't said anything yet. Tell us something about yourself."

Natalya hesitated for a moment. "I have an older sister. And an older brother." She mumbled.

"Good." Ms. Chelles said, nodding. "What are their names, Natalya?"

"Katushya and Ivan."

Toris flinched. _Ivan! _He thought. He heard the rustle of fabric. Natalya had turned to him. She'd noticed his uncanny reaction.

"Do you have a problem with it?" She interrogated. "What's wrong with my dear brother's name?"

"Nothing." Toris said, raising his hands defensively in the air. "Nothing at all."

That night, Natalya was alone in her room. She had thought it would have been easier to fall asleep without Elizabeta's constant blabber, but it was quite the contrary.

_To his younger sister, Ivan was the most beautiful thing in the world. He was tall, maybe a bit too tall for his age, but it suited him well. His face was round and childish, matching his immature facial expressions. His nose, typical Russian, and his eyes, so dark they could almost be violet. He hated exposing his neck, for reasons Natalya could never figure out, and had an extensive collection of scarves to cover it (his favorite was the one Katyusha had given him as a child on a particularly cold winter). _

"_Brother." Natalia had said one day, a long time ago. "I think you're very handsome."_

_Ivan was sitting on the couch, writing a report for the Middle School Science fair. He had picked 'The Mechanics of Pipes and Plumbing' as a topic. He frowned slightly. "…Thank you?" He said, confused._

"_Do you think I'm pretty?" She asked him._

"_Yes. Ivan said, without taking his eyes off of his schoolwork. His younger sister held back a smile._

"_Can I marry you, Big Brother?" The elementary school Natalya asked._

"_Please go away, Nat. I have to do my homework." He said._

"_Will you marry me?" She pressed on._

"_Fine, Natalya, I'll marry you. Now leave me alone." Ivan said, shooing her away, unaware what an impact those words would have on his life. _

_We used to get along so well…_ Natalya thought, turning over in bed. _And I had to go and ruin it all. _Life was terribly unfair. The girl slipped out of her room, sneaking away towards the bathroom to get a drink of water. There was a noise coming from under the bathroom door, small pellets of water on a stone floor. Someone was taking a shower. Cautiously, she opened the door.

Natalia stared at Toris Laurinatis. He was crouched under the shower, his back half-facing the girl. A small whimper could be heard.

_He's crying. _The Braginsky girl noticed.

Natalya leaned against the door, shutting it with a slight noise. Toris jumped and turned his head, quickly wiping a tear from his cheek. "Oh! N-Natalya!" He stuttered, shifting so that his back was resting against the wall. "Did you want to use the shower? I'll-" He began.

"What are those scars on your back?" Natalya asked, coming closer.

"Oh, that's nothing." Toris said, reaching to shut off the water. _This is so awkward. _He thought. _I'm not wearing anything…_

Natalya handed him a towel with a blank expression. "Here." She said. Toris wrapped it around himself, blushing. "Get out of the shower." The girl demanded.

The mousy- haired boy did as he was told. Suddenly, he felt Natalya's hands on his shoulders. "What are you doing?" He stuttered, looking back at the girl. Without another word, she pulled the towel down to half of his back, exposing his wounds. "Natalya…" He mumbled, ashamed. "Please don't."

Then, he felt a slender finger trace a large scar across his back. "Where'd you get these?" She demanded, tracing another mark down his body.

"I-I used to get beaten." The boy said. Natalya inched closer to his ear, and turned slightly to look him straight in the eye, as if she was requesting an elaboration. "…by my pimp." Toris whispered. Natalya continued to feel the mutilations on his back.

"My brother had a scar." She said, quite suddenly. "Wanna guess where?"

Toris smiled lightly. "His right shoulder blade?" He asked, chuckling to himself.

"Why do you know that?" Natalya yelled, drilling a fingernail into one of the many deep gashes in his body. Toris gasped. "Lucky guess." He lied.

"Alright." Natalya said, handing him his pajamas, which had been lying on the floor. She looked away as Toris dressed. "You know what?" She asked.

"Yes?" Toris responded.

"I think your scars are beautiful." The girl whispered. Toris smiled sadly to himself as he buttoned up his shirt.

"Natalya," He said. "I-I think that I like you."

_There. _The young boy thought to himself. _I said it!_

The girl looked at him cynically, and left the room.

**A/N: **In psychiatric home/therapy homes, you're not allowed to go to the bathroom/take a shower by yourself(because they think you'll try to kill yourself) until you've earned enough 'points' i.e. taken your meds, socialized and improved. For the sake of the story, let's assume Toris is at that level, and Natalya (who obviously is not) sneaked out of her room. And, in the previous chapter, 'sharps' is psychiatric home terminology for something-that-can-be-used-to-deliberately-injure-oneself. As in: Nail cutters, razors, sharp nails, knives, pie plates, paperclips, glass, scissors, broken CDs, letter openers, blah, blah, blah.

AND, thank you for alerting me about my really sad mistakes.


	4. Tears

**CHAPTER FOUR**

**TEARS: (tirz) **_**n. v. **_**1. To distress greatly 2. this fluid appearing in or flowing from the eye as the result of emotion, especially grief**

Visiting hours were miserable for Toris. He's look around and see Alfred being teased by his British uncle, Francis introducing Matthew to his parents, Feliks chatting away with his elder brother, and he couldn't help but feel so terribly alone. He glanced over to Natalya and her elder sister.

"How is brother doing?" The younger girl asked.

"He's doing quite well. I hear he joined the swim team at his school." Katyusha said, smiling. Natalya didn't respond, as she seemed to be imagining her brother in swim trunks.

"Look, Natalya." her sister said excitedly, pulling a couple plastic boxes of food out of her bag. "I brought you some *russian food*,*Russian food*, and borsch!"

"Did Ivan make it?" Natalya questioned. Her sister nodded. They sat in silence for a moment.

"Katy…when will Mama and Papa visit?" Natalya asked, looking down at the food.

Katy bit her lip and looked around frantically. "W-Well, they're very busy with work and such…" she stammered.

"They just don't want to see me, do they?"

"Please don't take it to heart, Natalya…" Her elder sister tried to comfort her.

Bringing her hands up to her face, perhaps to cover her teary eyes, the youngest Braginsky sibling said something under her breath.

"What is it?" Katushya said, leaning over in her chair. "I didn't hear-"

"Leave now." Natalya said, her voice slicing through the air. "Get out."

Katushya left, looking back cautiously at her sibling, wishing she had lied to her.

Toris pulled up a chair next to the crying girl. Gently, he placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Natalya…are you okay?" he said softly.

"Toris…Do you know why I'm here?" She asked, looking at him through blurry eyes.

"…because you scratch yourself until you bleed." Toris hypothesized.

Natalya snickered. "As if." She spat. She leaned into him, and brought her lips up to his ear.

"I'm here because I'm in love with my brother." The words rang in the Lithuanian's head.

_In love? With Ivan? _Toris thought. _Her brother?_

"T-That's right…you're always talking about him..." The mousy-haired boy stuttered.

"And now, everyone but my sister hates me for it." Natalya mumbled.

"I don't hate you…" Toris stammered. _In fact, it's quite the contrary…_

Natalya opened her mouth as if to say something, but called for Group Therapy, and she promptly shut it.

"My Uncle Arthur gave me a letter that my boyfriend wrote me." Alfred boasted, waving the paper around.

smiled. "Do you want to share it with us?" She asked.

"No way! That's personal!" The anorexic teenager yelped. "But…he did give me a ton of weird Japanese candy…but I'm not gonna eat them…" He said, looking down.

"I'll eat them!" Elizabeta and Feliks said simultaneously.

Toris glanced nervously at Natalya, wondering whether her confession a couple minutes ago was her way of rejecting him. Suddenly, the girl stood up and walked over to the window.

"Natalya!" called. "Please sit back down."

_It was Valentine's day. It was her first year in middle school, and she was ridiculously excited. Natalya had gone and bought some beautiful chocolates for her brother, as well as handmade a card which said: _

'_Dear Big Brother Ivan. _

_One day we're going to get married, _

_And live in a humble house with a white fence,_

_And we're going to have two children, both boys._

_Every Saturday when you get home from work,_

_We'll go on a romantic walk through the park._

_I love you very much._

_Your sister, Natalya Braginsky'_

_When school ended, she eagerly ran over to her elder brother's high school. Natlya wanted to surprise him. In her dream scenario he would accept the card, read it and smile, then lightly kiss her on the lips. "My sweet sister." He was supposed to say. "I love you, too." _

"_Ivan!" She yelled, arriving just in time to see him mounting his bike. He was speaking to a younger boy with blonde hair and glasses. _

"_See you later, Ivan." The boy said, and walked away. Ivan nodded at him then turned to Natalya,_

"_Little Sister." He said. "What are you doing here?"_

_Blushing, Natlaya pulled the Valentine's gift out of her bag. "I-I couldn't wait for you to get home." She stuttered. "This is for you, Brother Dear!" _

_A couple heads turned. Ivan looked around nervously. He cautiously took the gift and read the card. His expression changed from worried to terrified in a matter of seconds. He neatly folded it back up and returned it to his sister._

"_I can't accept this." He squeaked._

"_What?" Natalya gasped, rejected. _

"_Just go away!" Ivan yelled as he sped away on his red bicycle._

Natalya slapped the hand on her shoulder.

"Ow!" Toris yelped.

"Don't touch me, fag." She hissed, icy eyes glaring into his.

"I'm just wondering if you're okay." The Lithuanian said.

The Braginsky girl stared at him with a grimace.

"You were crying." Toris said, and lightly took her hand.

_Crying?_ Natalya touched her cheek only to have a single, bitter tear roll down to her finger.

Yes. She was crying.

And once it started, it never seemed to stop.

The girl felt eyes on her as she stood in front of the barred window and bawled. Suddenly, she felt two scrawny arms close around her. She couldn't have cared less who it was , Natalya simply needed someone to hold on to. Desperately holding onto Toris's sweater, she screamed.

"Ivan!" The girl sobbed. "Ivan! I want Ivan! Where is he?"

Quickly, dismissed group therapy.

The Lithuanian didn't respond to Natalya's cries, but instead began to rock her back and forth, almost like a dance.

"Natalya. Natalya. Natalya." He repeated, moving them in a slow circle. The Braginsky girl's sobs subsided into hiccups. She kept her head down as they moved rhythmically about the room. Toris cautiously slipped his hand into hers, and raised it to shoulder level. The brunette looked at him quizzically, eyes still wet. Laurinatis kept silent, but smiled lightly.

They continued to waltz in circles.

**A/N: **In my head-canon, the Czech Republic is Poland's elder brother (along with Russia, but they're not related in this story. Please refer to the Polish Legend of 'Lech, Czech and Rus'.) Another head-canon of mine: Belarus has dirty-blond-almost-brown hair, because in episode 42 (I think) when she is first introduced, it kind of looked like that to me (*shrugs* maybe I'm just colorblind).

FEED THE REWIEW MONSTER, POR FAVOR.

OH! AND! Pretty soon, I'll be posting the first chapter of 'White Dyras', my Iceland fic. Please look forward to it!

[EDIT]: EEEP! I almost forgot the definition in this one!


	5. Betrayal

**CHAPTER FIVE**

**BETRAYAL: (bitreal) **_**v. **_**1. To be disloyal to 2. To seduce and desert 3. to reveal unconsciously (something one would preferably conceal).**

The real troubles started the summer of Natalya's freshman year.

_Her brother had asked er to go to the store to fetch some groceries, and she did so with pleasure. Anything for her dear Ivan. Upon returning home, she noticed an unfamiliar bike, painted in many shades of blue, parked in the driveway. Both parents were at work, and Katyusha was on a trip with her friends from the university, so it couldn't have belonged to them._

"_Ivan?" Natalya called softly as she walked into the house. Silence. She dropped the groceries and quietly walked upstairs._

"_Brother?' She whispered. "Are you home?"_

_Gingerly, she pushed open his bedroom door. The first thing she noticed when she walked in was Ivan's precious scarf, discarded hastily on the floor. The second thing was the blonde latched onto her brother. He was shirtless, sprawled out under Ivan as they kissed, his hands pulling in Ivan's hair._

_His hands._

_He._

_A guy._

"_B-Brother?" Natalya asked, a sudden cold feeling gripping at her chest. _

"_Natalya!" The boy squealed, jumping away from the other blonde. "This isn't what you think! Not at all!" _

_The Braginsky girl felt the heat rushing to her face. Her very own brother. Her beloved Ivan. With someone else. With a boy. _

"_Eduard." Ivan said, reffering to the blone who was adjusting his glasses and buttoning up his shirt. "Out." He said nervously. _

_The boy nodded knowingly, stood up and squeezed out the door behind Natalya._

"_I'll call you later." Eduard mouthed. _

_Natalya was stunned._

"_You said you'd marry me, brother." She croaked, her voice breaking. Ivan bit his lip and looked away, avoiding his sister's glare._

"_I…don't really like girls." He breathed, immediately regretting saying so. _

_The brunette choked on a sob._

_Their beautiful house. _

_Their beautiful marriage._

_Their beautiful children._

_Their romantic walks each evening._

_Gone._

"_You were going to have sex with him." Natalya inquired. She took her brother's silence as a yes._

_And they weren't even married. _

"_If that's what you want, brother." She said, looking down darkly. "I wonder what Mama and Papa will think, knowing they've got a fag in the household?" She asked, and evil manner in her voice. The middle Braginsky sibling gasped._

"_Natalya, please!" He yelped. "Don't tell them!"_

_Natalya managed to stifle a giggle._

_Blackmail._

"_Alright." She said, amd the color drained back into her brothers face. "But only under one condition." _

"_Anything, Sister." He pleaded._

"_You have to have sex with me."_

"You're okay." Natalya said, breaking the silence.

"What?" Toris asked, sitting up in his bed. During the next day's free time, the Braginsky girl had slipped into Tori's room and was now standing by his bed, arms crossed.

"You're okay." She repeated. "I can tolerate you."

She left the room and returned to her own, wondering where the boy who was lucky enough to be willingly loved by Ivan was now, and whether her brother still thought of him. She wondered if one day her brother would have danced with her like Toris did, if not for the things that had happened between them that day. An hour later she had a new pair of blood-stained bandages on her arms.

In another week's time, Natalya had earned enough points to gain third-floor privileges. Meaning she could now wander the halls of therapist offices and vending machines without supervision.

_What a prize. _She thought sarcastically.

It was mostly due to Toris. They'd hang out during free time, and in Group Therapy she'd respond to his comments. smiled when taking note of this.

"Natalya." Toris asked once while they were sitting on a wooden bench outdoors, still on World Therapy Home's fenced-in grounds. "Y-You never did respond when I said…that I like you."

"I love…" she began, staring off into the sky. "…my sweet Vanya."

_Vanya. _Toris recalled. _Ivan had always loved it when I called him that. _

"What?" The girl barked.

"Nothing." Toris mumbled, blushing.

_I wonder…how would she react if she knew?_

**A/N: Lately, is being bitchy and removing random words throughout my stories. I'm not sure why, but sorry about that. This chapter is so short. Bleh. **

**A/N: **I make too many errors. Because my printer is being a bitch, so I can't print out my stuff to spellcheck and edit it that way. Yeah, I'm old-fashioned like that. In my next stories and the following chapters of this one, I'll be more careful.


	6. Sleep

**CHAPTER SIX**

**SLEEP (slip): **_**n. v. **_**1. To be dormant 2. A state of inactivity resembling or suggesting sleep; unconsciousness, dormancy, hibernation, or death. **

Sometimes, when he couldn't sleep, he'd think of him. He wished he could say it wasn't that often, but unfortunately, Ivan would sneak his way into Toris's thoughts every other night.

"My dear Toris." He'd hear him whisper into his ear, and he wished he could fall asleep in the Russian's embrace once again.

_No. I like Natalya. _He thought, rolling over on his side, casting the thought away. But he couldn't help but wonder if he was only attracted to Natalya because he saw her, he saw he brother.

"Hey, Toris." A voice from across the room interrupted his thoughts. "Are you like, awake?" His roommate Feliks asked.

"Yeah." The Lithuanian mumbled.

"Tell me a story." Feliks moaned. "I totes can't fall sleep and feel like crap."

"I don't know any stories." Toris said, sitting up.

"C'mon. Like, anything." The other boy squealed. "My brother was like, always telling me stories before we went to sleep when I was a little kid."

Toris sighed in defeat, then stood up and walked towards his roommate's bed.

"Fine." He said, laying down next to him. Feliks grinned, and rested his head on the Lithuanian's shoulder.

"Once upon a time, their lived a little boy in a faraway land." He began. "Even though they were very poor, the boy was very happy with his mother, father and pet cat. Then one day, the boy's father decided that the family would move to a new, better land where they were they could be even happier. And they were, for a little while. However, there were lots of bad people where they lived."

"Wait." Feliks said, opening one eye lazily. "I thought you said the new land, was like, better."

"It was." Toris said. "But they moved to the wrong part of the new land. There's always good and bad, Feliks." He scolded.

"Either way, one day while they were shopping in the market, a fight broke out between two of the bad guys. The little boy's father was killed by mistake. So the boy was left to take care of only his mother.

"Wait, what about the cat?" Feliks complained.

"They left it back in Lithu-I mean the other land. Stop nitpicking my story." Toris replied.

"Anyhow. The boy stopped going to school to help out his mother. One day, when the boy was in the park, a man approached him and asked if he'd like to work for him. Of course, the little boy agreed, his family needed money after all."

"You. Is this your life story or something?" Feliks asked. "You were like, a child prostitute weren't you?"

Toris bit his lip. _Maybe I shouldn't have done that. I should have told him Cinderella or something. _

"Never mind." Toris said, sitting up. "I'm going back to my bed."

"No!" Feliks pouted, grabbing onto his arm. "I want to hear the rest."

Toris wrenched out of his grip and ran to bed.

_Nobody. _He thought. _Nobody listens the way Ivan did._

He grabbed his pillow and buried his face in it.

_Toris was walking sitting at lunch, during his second week of high school. He looked around nervously. What would he do if someone found out that he hadn't moved just moved here? That he'd lived here for a while, and the only reason he wasn't at school was because he was chained to a bed in a rundown apartment building, satisfying old men's sick needs? _

"_Toris?" A voice said. "Would you like some?"_

_Raivis Galante, one of the friends Toris managed to acquire asked, offering him a cookie. "We made them in Home Ec." The young boy said. "What about you, Eduard?"_

_Eduard, a tall Estonian, looked away from his phone. "Sure." He said, and then blushed, looking back at the cellphone screen. "Ivan said he'll be here any minute. He's skipping gym to see me."_

"_I don't understand how you can even hang out with him, let alone make out with him, Ed. Ivan's creepy." Raivis said, snorting. _

"_Um, who's Ivan?" Toris asked._

"_I am." Toris felt a breath on his ear. Quickly, he turned around, his heart beating a thousand miles per hour. _

"_Good morning." The boy said, leaning down to kiss Eduard on the cheek. "Who's this?" He then asked, pointing at Toris. _

"_I'm Toris!" The Lithuanian said. "Nice to meet you."_

_Toris noticed that Ivan had ridiculously long eyelashes. When the boy leaned down to whisper into Eduard's ear, they almost graced the side of the Estonian's cheek, and Toris couldn't her but to feel a little jealous. Sometimes, they'd see each other random places. Toris would be buying groceries, and then Ivan would sneak up behind him and grab him by the waist. Toris would go see a movie with Raivis, and Ivan would be sitting right behind them, adding his own commentary on the film. Whether it was coincidence or something else, Toris didn't want to know. _

"_Ivan." He asked one day, after school. "What is this? Are you following me?" _

"_Are you sure you want to know?" Ivan asked, stepping closer to him._

_Toris nodded nervously. What if Ivan had figured out his secret?_

"_Something has happened." Ivan said. "And because of it, I am never going to see Eduard again."_

"_I'm sorry." Toris lied._

"_But that's okay." Ivan said, slipping his arms around Toris's waist. "Because I always liked you better." _

_The Lithuanian's heart skipped a beat, Soon enough, he found himself pressed against a nearby wall, Ivan's lips on his. Bliss. _

"_Ivan." Toris breathed, briefly pulling away before smashing his mouth onto the taller boy's again. He felt Ivan giggle, and Toris's heart flew. The world was spinning. _

It was dreams like these that scared Toris the most. A flashback that left him out of breath when he woke, glad it wasn't real and filled with an overwhelming desiring to fall back asleep to finish what they had started.

**A/N: **DUN DUN DUN!By the way, the event Ivan is referring to is the flashback in the last chapter, with Estonia/Russia and Belarus walking in like "OMGEEEE." It was really hard making a definition/title for this chapter. Sorry if it doesn't fit well.

I'm sort of a LietPol fangirl as well, so I had to stick in that little moment with the story. Durr.

By the way, you guys should go eat some Lithuanian chocolates. They're really good.


	7. Eyes

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

**EYES (iyes):**_** n. **_**1. The organ of vision or of light sensitivity 2. The opening of a needle 3. A way of regarding something; point of view**

Ms. Chelles was beaming with accomplishment. Finally, _finally_, she had gotten Natalya to speak more than a couple sentences during individual therapy.

"Tell me." The Braginsky girl had said, leaning dangerously close to the shrink. "Tell me exactly what my parents said when I was admitted to the hospital."

"They said you had inappropriate feelings for your elder brother. And that you hurt yourself on purpose." Ms. Chelles had said, clearing her throat.

Then, Natalya proceeded to tell Ms. Chelles of her feelings for her brother in disgusting detail.

"I was so happy when we had sex." Natalya had confessed, blushing. "Or rather, when I had sex. He didn't really do much, except cry."

"And how did that make you feel?" Ms. Chelles asked, jotting down notes excitedly.

"He was so pretty, all naked and helpless like that." The blue-eyed girl had told her, ignoring the question. "He hates me now."

"Why do you think that, Natalya?" The psychiatrist had asked. Natalya refused to speak until their time was up, when she stood up and left the room with a short, quiet 'bye'.

Toris was outside during free time, playing basketball with Feliks and Alfred. Natalya sat off to the side and pretended to watch them, while Elizabeta attempted to strike up a conversation with her. Suddenly, the basketball flew in her direction, missing the top of her head by barely an inch.

"Natalya!" Toris nearly screamed. "Are you okay?" He asked, rushing over to her, tripping over the edge of the blacktop in the process.

"Natla-!" He squealed, before falling over in front to the girl's feet. "Damn it…" He mumbled, hiding his face, which was currently an infuriating shade of red. He heard Alfred and Feliks laugh.

"Ha!" The young Pole snickered. "He _literally _fell for her."

Toris picked himself off the ground, and smiled awkwardly at Natalya. She looked back at him empty eyed.

"I'm fine." She responded to his previous question.

Ms. Chelles stepped out into the outdoor area, wearing her signature nurse outfit and pigtails.

"Free time ends in five minutes, everyone!" She said. "Start heading back inside."

Slowly, people started filing back indoors. Toris was about to turn around when a girl's voice stopped him.

"Why do you like me?" Natlya asked flatly, still expressionless. His heart skipped a beat.

"I…" He began.

_I don't even know whether I actually like you or not. You look so much like Ivan, and I can't take my eyes off of you. You said my scars were beautiful, exactly like Ivan had said. You make me feel as if I never left him. _Toris wanted to say, but instead he mumbled a weak, 'I don't know'.

The chestnut-hired girl nodded. "My brother hates me." She said, out of the blue.

"No he doesn't." Toris said, but truthfully, he wasn't so sure.

"_I'd like to meet your sisters someday." The Lithuanian mentioned once while out with Ivan._

_Ivan looked up from his ice cream, eyes wide._

"_No you don't. My sisters are weird." He said. "My big sister is a bit of a crybaby, but she's at the university most of the time, so that just leaves me and my…little sister." Ivan said, shuddering._

"_What's wrong with your little sister?" Toris inquired, taking a lick of his own strawberry-flavored dessert. "I'm sure she's really nice."_

"_Well, apparently she likes me a lot-" The Russian began._

"_That's good!" Toris interrupted, smiling. "It's great to have siblings who get along. I wish I had siblings."_

"_She's a strong-willed girl…but not in a good way." His boyfriend said, smiling weakly. _

"Um, Natalya?" Toris asked, trying hard not to blush. "Do you think you could ever like anyone besides your brother?"

The Braginsky girl paused for a second carefully choosing her words. "Maybe." She finally said.

Toris smiled. He had a chance. Slowly, he reached around and gently placed his hand on her neck. She looked at him questionably as he pulled her forward and lightly touched his lips with her own. Natalya stared back at him through deadpanned eyes.

_If eyes are the window to the soul, _Toris wondered, _where is Natalya's soul?_

He stood up, disappointed. Even a small smile would have sufficed, just a sign that there was indeed life inside the girl, that she was at least conscious.

"I'm going inside." He said, turning around and speed walking toward the mental facility, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Just then, a dainty hand gripped his arm. Natalya's face still bore no expression, but Toris was delighted. He held her hand firmly, as they stepped inside the World Therapy Home, just in time for Group Therapy.

"Everyone." Ms. Chelles announced. "Someone new will be joining us today."

Two nurses led in a young boy, seventeen years of age with silvery hair and piercing red eyes.

"Let go of me." He snarled, elbowing a nurse in the ribs, "Old hag."

The boy straightened up, dusted some dirt off his clothing and struck a pose, one hand on his hip, the other raised into the air.

"Ladies and gentlemen." He snickered. "Please welcome Gilbert Bielschmidt."

**A/N: **And then, they all died from an unfortunate overdose of awesome. Short chapter is short. The next chapter will undoubtedly involve: awesomeness, kleptomania, and a lamp. EPIC UPDATE SPEED POWERS ACTIVATE!


	8. Friend

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

**FRIEND: (frend) **_**n. **_**1. A person whom one knows, likes and trusts 2. A person who gives assistance 3. A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.**

"I fucking hate him!" Feliks screamed, slamming the door to their shared bedroom. "What a prick!  
>What a total fucking egoistical scumbag! I hope he dies in a fire!"<p>

"Feliks, calm down." Toris said, although he too was not impressed by the new kid's behavior.

The scene had played out so tragically, that Ms. Chelles had to dismiss Group Therapy ten minutes early because of the number of people upset. After Gilbert Beilschmidt had introduced himself flamboyantly, ranting on about his own splendor and however many cars his father owned, about how because he was older than all the other patients in the minor ward, everyone would answer to him. He circled the room, and began to mercilessly insult everyone in the room.

"What the fuck?" The albino said, looking down at Feliks. "Are those hairclips? You take it up the ass?"

"Cut your wrists," Gilbert told Matthew, "It improves circulation."

"Enough, Gilbert." Ms. Chelles said calmly.

"Hey!" Alfred shouted, coming to his friends defense. The new patient stared at him, sizing him up.

"Get a life." He spat. "And some food."

"It's alright, _mon cheri_." Francis told crying, curly haired boy, and put an arm around his shoulders.

"And what are you in here for?" The silvery-haired boy asked, leaning down to look at the French teenager.

"Sexual misconduct." He said, wiggling his eyebrows seductively. Matthew gasped and looked up at the new kid nervously. Bielschmidt nodded and smiled knowingly.

"Cool." He said, then turned to Elizabeta. "Nice tits." He snickered. The girl gripped the edge of her chair, desperately fighting the urge to run up to him and kick him in the back of the head. Toris watched nervously as the boy kneeled down next to his chair.

"And who," The silverette asked. "…might you be?"

"I'm Toris Laurinatis." The Lithuanian said, smiling and extending his hand in greeting. He might as well try to be polite. "Nice to meet you." To his great surprise, Gilbert nearly choked on a laugh.

"Ha! What a ridiculous accent!" He spat, slapping Toris on the back. The mousy-haired boy gasped and secretly wondered if one could feel his scars through the shirt he was wearing.

"Let's see here, I'll let you blow me if you clean my house!" Gilbert cackled.

"Shut up!" A feminine voice boomed. Natalya bolted up out of her chair, standing firmly on both feet, hands curled up in anger. She marched up to Toris and stood by him, arms crossed over her chest.

"I guess that when they bleached your hair, they bleached your brains as well." Natalya said, glaring at the new mental patient.

"That's enough! Everyone, go to your rooms." Ms. Chelles yelled, pointing in the direction of the bedrooms.

And, just like that, Toris ended up having to pretend to listen while Feliks ranted on and on about how he wished Gilbert Bielschmidt would get run over by a truck.

_Natalya came to my defense. _Toris thought, sighing happily.

"Like, who gives a shit if I wear hairclips? Just 'cause I wear hairclips doesn't mean I'm gay!" Feliks yelled, kicking the bed stand. "Ow!"

"But Feliks," Toris said half-heartedly. "You _are _gay. You told me yourself."

"I like, totally know that! But it's like, the fucking principle, Toris!" The Polish boy said, walking in frustrated circles around their room.

During the next Group Therapy, they all sat in a circle, nervously waiting to see who Gilbert would pick on next. The boy in question was sprawled out on the floor next to Francis, as Matthew lay next to them, looking envious.

"So, Gilbert." Francis asked. "What are you here for?"

"Well," The albino said, sitting up. "I am a kleptomaniac!" He announced.

"You're a freak, that's what you are." Elizabeta snarled across the room.

"What's that, bitch?" Gilbert answered, standing up and walking towards her. "What did you call me?"

"Gilbert. Sit down." Ms. Chelles commanded firmly.

"Egoistic loser. Scumbag." Elizabeta continued, standing up as well.

"Dyke. Whore." The albino egged on.

Suddenly, Elizabeta charged at him, knockinzg him over and socking him in the nose. To Toris, it seemed as if the next part should have happened in slow-motion, but instead in came about in a blurry, almost inhuman speed. Gilbert expertly knocked over one of the tall lamps in the room, grabbed it by the tubular support, and flung it over his shoulder. Ms. Chelles and Matthew screamed, Feliks hid his face, Toris yelled and Natalya looked on blankly as Gilbert smashed the lamp into the honey-haired Elizabeta's head.

"Lizzie!" Feliks yelped, rushing over to her. Two hospital attendants rushed in a sedated Gilbert, and another two rushed Elizabeta to the hospital wing. Suddenly, Toris felt a small tug on his sleeve. He looked down to see a small, bandaged hand.

"What is it, Natalya?" He asked, turning toward her.

"Be my roommate today." She said. Toris frowned. Elizabeta was obviously going to spend the night in one of the medical hospital beds, or even worse, the operating table, so Natalaya was going to have to spend the night alone.

"Alright." He said, smiling.

That night, the Lithuanian managed to slip into Natalya's room unnoticed. He stepped inside, dressed in his pajamas, his hair still wet from the shower.

"Natalya?" He asked, gesturing to the bedding laid out on the floor in between the two beds. "What's this?"

"We're going to sleep here." She said flatly, setting down two pillows. Toris smiled lightly, and wondered if she normally slept on the floor. The two laid down after turning off the lights.

"Toris." The Braginsky girl said. "Did I ever tell you that Katyusha and Ivan were born in Russia? I was the only one who was born here."

"That's why you don't have an accent." Toris commented, recalling how awful Ivan's accent could be at times. Natalya nodded, and inched closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. Toris blushed and lightly touched her cheek. The girl murmured something into his shoulder.

"What?" He asked.

"…Thank you." Natalya said, refusing to meet the Lithuanian's eyes. "For being my friend."

_That's right. _Toris thought to himself. _That's what I am to her. A friend. _

Around three in the morning, Ms. Chelles was checking up on all the patients. Quietly opening the door to Natalya's room, she noticed that both beds had been stripped of covers. She frowned, her gaze drifting down to the floor. Nataya had her arms wrapped around a sleeping Toris with rosy cheeks. Of course, such behavior was strictly forbidden by the World Therapy Home, but just this once, she would turn a blind eye. After all, both patients certainly needed someone to hold on to.

**A/N: **Bitchy!Prussia is bitchy. He's more of the antagonist in this story (I love you, Prussia! I really dooo!). A kleptomaniac is a person who compulsively steals things, most of the time its small useless thingamabobs. They don't steal because they want the object, but for the simple thrills.

PruHun hate is win. I told you guys that there would be a lamp.


	9. Lie

**CHAPTER NINE**

**LIE: **_**n. v. **_**1. Intentional untruth 2. A false statement meant to deceive 2. To convey a false impression.**

Over the few days been in World Therapy Home, Gilbert Beilschmidt had developed a hobby out of picking on poor Toris. He'd casually insult him when the boy was just in earshot, or complain about him during Group Therapy. In fact, he even managed to steal his watch and flush it down the toilet.

"Looking for your watch, little whore?" The albino teased, raising his eyebrows when Toris flinched upon hearing Gilbert's newest nickname for him. How exactly the nasty new patient found out about is past was beyond him.

"Basically, economy is pretty shitty lately." Gilber began, opening up an imaginary wallet. "How's two-fifty for a blow?"

Toris gasped and looked away, ashamed and appalled at the boy's comment. A satisfied snicker escaped Beilschmidt's lips.

"Fuck off." Natalya said, walking up to the offender. The albino put his hands up in defeat and walked away, whistling.

"Thanks." Toris murmured, cursing himself for his cowardice.

"So, are you guys going out?" Gilbert asked in the afternoon, siting lazily at the lunch table. Natalya frowned and glanced over at Toris, who was patiently listening to Feliks ramble on about some pony on his grandmother's farm back in Europe.

"You like him, don't you?" Gilbert snickered, shoving a spoonful of potatoes in his mouth. "You shouldn't. He was…a lady of the night, if y'know what I mean."

"I know." Natalya replied coldly, stabbing a piece of chicken with her fork.

"Oh yeah? Well I know all sorts of interesting things about him." The albino replied, leaning over the table, his voice deduced to a whisper. "Things that you might want to know."

The Braginsky girl raised an eyebrow, apparently not amused.

"Actually, I know several awesome things about everyone here. Like, that Alfred kid's got a love hate relationship with his boyfriend, 'cause the kid's Asian and he's skinny which makes Alfred friggin' jealous. And Liz didn't actually beat up her last boyfriend, she just said she did cause it makes her sound manly, and Mattie-" The red-eyed boy began before he caught himself mid-rant. "Either way, wanna know about Toris?"

Natalya wondered what Gilbert could possibly know about Toris that she didn't. After all, that boy was too honest for his own good. However, as dear Ivan had told her once, _"Everybody has their little secret."_ In Iavan's case-it was that he would rather sleep with guys.

"Alright." Natalya said, glancing at the mousy-haired boy's direction, wondering what possible secrets he held.

The clock struck 1:00, marking the end of lunch. The patients filed out of the room, drone- like.

"Psst!" Gilbert said, waving at Natalya. "Over here, quick!"

The Braginsky girl followed him to what seemed to be… Ms. Chelles's office?

"Ooh! Lucky us!" Gilbert laughed, glancing up at the appointment calendar mounted on the pale yellow wall. "Toris is first today?"

Suddenly, the sound of footsteps could be heard down the hall.

"Yo! Quick!" Gilbert yelled, flinging open the door to Ms. Chelles's coat wardrobe. The duo climbed in, promptly shutting the door behind them. It was cramped, obviously not meant for two people (though technically, it wasn't meant for one person either, taking in account that it was a closet).The Braginsky girl shifted around in the closet, pushing an obnoxiously furry coat out of her face. Gilbert put a finger to her lips and shushed her, a mischievous smile crossing his face.

"Have a seat, Toris." Natalya heard the therapist say. A creak.

"All right, is there anything on your mind today?"

"Well," The boy began. "I had another dream about him again."

_Him? _Natalya thought. _Who's 'him'?_

"We were-y'know, having…sex." He said with a small voice. "And Natalya walked in. She was really mad at me. And then…I woke up."

"That's a perfectly normal dream, considering the circumstances." Ms. Chelles responded.

"I can't just forget about him. He's the first one who made me feel loved after papa died. Ivan-He was always so gentle with me, and I was so in love with him. He made me feel so much more accepted in that stupid school. I know that I was only a mere freshman and he was graduating that year, but I couldn't help myself."

_Ivan? _Natalya thought to have . _No…He couldn't…_

"Natalya's brother." The therapist mentioned. "Do you still love him?"

All of a sudden, the shrink's door burst open. Matthew stood in the doorway, a with determined glint in his eyes and with trembling hands.

"Ms. Chelles! It's Alfred!" He yelped. "He's collapsed."

With the clack of her heels, Ms. Chelles left the room, after telling Toris that she'd only be a moment. The Lithuanian sat on the couch, nibbling his fingernails, pondering the question the therapist had left him with, when suddenly a loud noise interrupted his thoughts. The angry bang of a slamming closet.

"You…" Natalya hissed.

"Natalya!" Toris nearly shrieked, paying no heed to Gilbert, who was standing right next to the girl.

"You lying bastard!" The auburn-haired girl yelled, throwing herself at him, knocking Toris, and the chair he was sitting in, over.

"You liar!" The girl yelled, pinning him to the floor.

"Please, Natalya! I can explain!" He begged. Of course, he had no such explanation, unless 'I used to fuck your brother' was to count.

"I think you've done enough talking." The Braginsky girl snarled, taking hold Toris's pointer finger and brutally snapping it backwards.

"That." She spat, "is for taking my brother way from me."

_Snap. _"For having him willingly, lovingly fuck you."

_Snap. _"For tricking me into thinking I could trust you!" Natalya said, eyes welling up with tears. Toris shrieked as the girl grabbed for another finger.

_Snap! Snap! _"That's for making me think that I might even like you!" Natalya yelled, slamming the Lithuanian's hand onto the floor, crooked fingers and all. Toris began to cry.

"Natalya! Please!" He sobbed. As she grabbed at the boy's second hand, she suddenly felt a pair of arms grab her around the waist.

"That's enough!" A brash voice said. The girl turned to see Gilbert, pulling her away from her victim. She struggled in his grip, but he was too strong. Soon enough, walked in and gasped. Toris was spread out of the ground, his lips bleeding and fingers mangled, tears streaking his dusty cheeks. Gilbert was holding Natalya back, but she was kicking and scratching at him, crying as well.

It was all too much for Natalya. Toris-dear Toris-had been lying to her all this time. She thought they were friends! And yet, he'd turned out to be like everyone else, a liar, a cheater and a fake. And to think that he'd been one of the few people the girl had ever trusted.

_Damnit! _She thought. _Goddamnit!_

Her whole body, everything was itchy. No, she'd promised herself she wouldn't do it anymore! Her neck, her stomach, legs and arms-everything. Elbowing Gilbert out of the way, she raised her arms and tore at her skin. The relief was unbelievable.

"Ms. Chelles! Gilbert shrieked. "She's-!"

Suddenly, the world went blank and Toris's face appeared before her, just for a second, before everything went black.

**A/N: **Contrary to popular belief, the main pairing is still LietBel (I hope this chapter sort of cleared that misconception up). DUN DUN DUN-cliffhanger.

In the next chapter, Ivan pays a visit to the World Therapy Home. What will this mean for Natalya? And for Toris?


	10. Forgive

**CHAPTER TEN**

**FORGIVE (forgyv): **_**v. **_**1. To excuse for a fault or offense 2. To stop feeling anger for or resentment against.**

When she woke the next day in the hospital, shed thought it had all been a dream. That she'd never snapped at Toris, that Gilbert had never hid in Ms. Chelles closet with her, that Toris's prior involvement with her brother was nothing but a figment of her imagination. Yet when she looked around, that was obviously not the case. She did, after all, have bandages covering practically every inch of her body. Her right arm throbbed in pain, and Natalya felt at it through the cotton strips covering it. She realized soon enough that she'd practically scratched a hole in her arm.

What had she _done_ to herself?

A nurse walked into the room and began to adjust some tube which was currently attached to her arm. The Braginsky girl wondered why her parents weren't here. Or Katyusha at least.

And what about Toris? Where was he?

"Where is he?" Natalya barked at the poor woman. "Where's Toris?"

"I'm sorry, Miss." The nurse said, backing out of the room. "I don't know who you're talking about."

Stupid hag thought that just because she was from a mental institution, she was crazy. Well, she'd just have to go find Toris herself. He had to be here, after all, she _had_ broken his fingers. Slipping out of the hospital bed, she ripped the tube out of her arm. It would be a hindrance to drag the IV pole around.

Her legs wobbled as she walked. Natalya wondered if they were all bloody and scratched as well, but was too afraid to look. As she walked up to the door, who should she run into but Ms. Chelles.

"Where's Toris?" Natalya asked. "I need to see him."

Ms. Chelles smiled sadly. "You're not allowed to see him, Natalya." She said.

"What?" The chesnut-haired girl asked, frowning. Well, yes, it made perfect sense. She'd _broken his fingers. _Assault. Battery. Who knew what else. "I…" The girl said, "I want to apologize."

"If that's the case, follow me." Ms. Chelles said, turning on her heel. "He's in the lobby."

The two walked downstairs, and thoughts clouded Natalya's mind. What if he hated her now? She deserved it. She'd hurt him, like she'd hurt Ivan. Oh, God-Ivan.

_Toris had been with Ivan. _Natalya thought. The message was still sinking in.

"Natalya!" Toris's voice called from across the room. He had stood up from one of the uncomfortable-looking receptionist chairs, cradling his broken hand in a sling. "Are you okay?" He yelled, rushing up to her. She'd just shattered his fingers, and he was worried about _her_? What an idiot.

"D-Do you hate me now, Toris?" She stuttered. The boy paused as, if considering his words.

"No." He said. "I don't."

And it was that pause that tore Natalya apart.

_Say sorry. _She told herself. _Say sorry. _

If only she could. Looking at his confused face, she could only think this: Ivan had loved this boy, and she'd hurt him. She'd always done that to his previous lovers, with no remorse whatsoever. So why should Toris be different? She was supposed to be angry at him. Yes, of course!

He'd slept with her brother.

"I'm angry at you." She spat out. Toris looked down at his feet, and he fidgeted with the hand that wasn't in plaster cast.

"I understand." Toris said, eyes glued to the floor. "I kept an important secret from you, a secret relevant to you. I'm really sorry."

He wasn't the one who was supposed to be apologizing.

"You better be." Natalya said, glaring at him. _Shit. _She thought. _I didn't mean that. _

The Lithuanian's face flushed.

"I'm really sorry." He said again. "I just didn't want you to be mad-" He began.

"Shut up!" Natalya yelled. "Just shut up! It's okay, alright! I don't care!"

"You mean you forgive me?" Toris asked, his face lighting up. That broad, relieved smile and sparkly eyes gave Natalya butterflies. She nodded stubbornly.

"No. It's just okay." She muttered. "Me too. I'm sorry. For breaking your fingers."

Toris smiled again, softer this time. "Thank you. It's okay, Natalya."

Ms. Chelles leaned down to the Braginsky girl and informed her that she was going to be released from the hospital the next day, as soon as her wounds were tended to. Toris waved her goodbye, and Natalya grouchily turned back to her hospital room, blushing. She wished Ivan were sitting there, waiting for her and petting her hair, just like that time she had broken her arm in first grade. Ivan had sat by her the whole night after the operation, calming her down when she knew she was going to cry again.

When Natalya returned to the World Therapy Home, everyone was silent. They looked at her with sideward glances and whispered.

"You're getting the silent treatment too?" Gilbert asked, sitting down next to her in the Group Therapy circle. She nodded. "You know how Alfred's missing? Well, he's in the hospital, hooked up to a feeding tube."

Gilbert then gestured to everyone else. "They think it's our fault. 'Cause we weren't that nice to him. He was getting better, and then he just stopped eating altogether."

Natalya stared at him. Sure, she hadn't been nice to the stupid blonde, but she hadn't made his life a living hell like Gilbert had, throwing food at him and cracking an anorexia joke at every chance. For this one at least, Gilbert was all to blame.

"It's not my fault. Nope. Not at all." Gilbert said in a boastful tone, but his voice cracked, revealing his weakness. Natalya nodded. Not like it as her problem anyway. She scooted closer to Toris, ignoring the German as he went on a rant about how he was too awesome to cause someone's near-death. Toris smiled at her lightly, but she could tell the incident with Alfred (not to mention what had happened in Ms. Chelles office three days ago. They still hadn't spoken of it) was truly bothering him.

"Toris, how do you feel about what Alfred did?" Ms. Chelles asked. A standard therapy question.

"I wish I could have been there to help him out." The mousy-haired boy mumbled. Matthew started crying.

"Me too! I-I wish he could have said something to me!" The boy sobbed, his golden curls bouncing. "He's like a brother to me!"

Natalya wished Free Time would hurry up and get here. She'd had enough of this 'if-only-I-knew' shit. Suddenly, another nurse walked up to Ms. Chelles and whispered something in her ear. The therapist nodded.

"Matthew, would you please wait in my office for a moment?" She asked. The Canadian stood up and wobbled down the hallway. She then turned to Natalya and said: "There's someone here to see you."

The Braginsky girl gritted her teeth. "I told my sister not to come back here." She growled.

"It's not your sister." The nurse said, Natalya looked questionably at Toris, as if he would hold the answers to everything. The boy shrugged, so the girl stood up and walked up to the doorway.

And who should she see but Ivan Braginsky.

"Pryvjet, syestra." The boy said, looking down at her with a soft smile. He hadn't changed one bit in the months they hadn't spoken, his hair still silken and floppy, eyes still an unnatural shade of violet and still as tall as ever

"Ivan!" Natalya gasped, and much to Toris's surprise, she bolted in the direction of her room. Ivan looked at the nurse at the door, as if asking for permission to follow after her. The nurse nodded, and Toris hid his face in his knees when Ivan passed right by him.

"Natalya?" The tall Russian said, pushing the door open with a creak. The girl in question was curled up in a ball on her bed, sobbing. Natalya's elder brother approached her carefully, and placed a large hand on her shoulder. She glanced at him briefly, and then started crying even harder.

"Big Brother!" She cried, holding onto the bottom of his coat, refusing to even look at his face. "Please! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'll do anything, just please…please don't hate me anymore!"

Ivan smiled, and hugged her, much to the girl's surprise. "I could never hate you, no matter what." He said, kissing her head lightly. "You're my little sister."

To this, Natalya began to cry harder, clinging onto his shoulders and neck, thanking everything holy and unholy that Ivan, her brother, had still loved her all along, even after all she'd done to him.

Toris sat in the main room with his head in his hands, listening to Natalya's cries and Ivan's comforting words from down the hall. What was he going to _do_? Ivan was here. His Ivan. _Here._ And he didn't even realize he'd stepped over Toris to get to Natalya.

"C-Can you forgive me, Vanya?" Toris hear Natalya say, stumbling across her words. Goddamnit, that was what he was supposed to call Ivan.

"Of course." He said softly, and Toris's heart melted. He wondered if some power above was going to punish him for being in love with two people, who were siblings, no less. But how could he help himself? They were both so similar, their violet eyes and timid appearance. There were little details Toris noticed, little things that made distinguishing them even harder. Like how both their laughs sounded like musical hiccups, and how they could both be utterly terrifying without trying to, and how they both wrote their 'y's with a little loop at the bottom. How they both picked at their nails when they were bored, and how neither of them really liked celery.

The door to Natalya's room opened, and the siblings exited. Ivan was smiling sweetly, and Natalya was blushing, her eyes all red from crying. Even so, she too, looked happy.

"Goodbye, Natalya." The Russian said, heading for the door. "I'll come visit you when I can." The youngest Braginsky girl wrapped her arms around him, and he returned the favor. Ms. Chelles watched from the other side of the room and smiled, jotting down some notes. Toris, however, remained sitting on the couch, facing the other way, nervous as hell. He heard the door clack, and he yelled out something, surprising even himself.

"Ivan! Wait!" He screamed, standing up. Ivan turned to the sound of an all-too-familiar voice. His ex-boyfreind was standing a couple feet away from him, cheeks flushed and eyebrows knotted. His right arm was in a navy blue sling.

"Toris?" Ivan asked. The Lithuanian ran up to him and with an uncharacteristic determination, pulled him downwith his unbroken hand by his beige scarf and kissed him. Natalya's eyes went wide. Toris held Ivan's face close to his, sucking at his lips and blushing crazily. Then, he became aware of the lack of reciprocation.

"Why…" He moaned, breaking away from Ivan. "Why aren't you kissing me back?"

The Lithuanian got up on his tiptoes and tried again. Pressing their lips together harder, making a mess. That's how they liked it. That's exactly how they always kissed, so why wasn't his Ivan kissing back?

"Ivan?" Toris asked, wiping some saliva off his lip. "W-Why?"

"Dear Toris." The man said, taking his face in his hands gently. "I'm seeing somebody else now. I'm sorry."

Of course. Why would Ivan wait for him to be released from the nuthouse? Ivan was in college now too, he obviously met someone better, more sane there. Someone who wasn't an ex-child prostitute. Toris hadn't even considered the possibility.

"I-I understand. Sorry." He stammered, slowly backing away. He was going to burst into tears any moment now. "Bye, Ivan." Toris said, and Ivan hugged Natalya again and left. The Lithuanian could feel the girl's glare on him from across the room. He'd definitely done it now.

**A/N: **Count all the apologies in this chapter. I dare you. AND OH NOES! Toris got rejected. This document has over 2,029 words. Clap for me. Clap for me.


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